Physical touch and intimacy are fundamental ways in which couples express their love and affection. It is a critical component of a healthy marriage.” Dr. John Gottman
Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and marriage researcher who studied relatiosnhips for over 20 years, emphasizes the significance of physical intimacy in sustaining a loving relationship. He states, that many couples find that physical closeness is not just about sexual satisfaction it is also about feeling valued and loved.
Tender Touch
Physical intimacy, including gestures such as holding hands, hugging, and kissing, helps couples communicate on a deeper, non-verbal level. These acts of affection are powerful tools for conveying emotions and can often say more than words. They help to reduce stress, increase feelings of security, and foster a sense of togetherness. When partners regularly engage in these forms of physical connection, they tend to report higher levels of satisfaction in their relationship and report significant psychological benefits.
Touch releases oxytocin, the ‘love hormone,’ which enhances bonding and can help alleviate stress and anxiety. This biochemical reaction underscores the importance of physical intimacy in maintaining a strong emotional bond between partners.” Dr. Laura Berman, a sex and relationship therapist
Dealing with Distractions
In a perfect world it would be easy to prioritize touching your partner. However, if you are like most couples, your lives are busy and exhaustion and distraction gets in the way of connecting with your partner. Try seeing physical touch as an investment in your relationship. Touch your partner in a way they like to be touched at whatever times work for both of you. It is common in long term relationships to have physical intimacy diminish over time but this can lead to disconnection, loneliness and resentment. This can create a vicious cycle, where the lack of intimacy leads to further emotional distance. Turn this cycle around and over time you will notice an improvement in your relationship. Recognizing the importance of physical closeness and addressing any barriers to it can help couples rekindle their bond.
“If either you or your partner are adverse to all forms of touching, I recommend seeking couples counseling as soon as possible, as this indicates a relationship in crisis” Angela Worth, MS, LMFT
Physical intimacy is a cornerstone of a healthy and fulfilling marriage. It is not just about the physical act but also about the emotional and psychological connection it fosters. As Dr. Gottman and Dr. Berman highlight, maintaining physical closeness is essential for expressing love, reducing stress, and strengthening the marital bond. Couples should strive to prioritize physical intimacy as an integral part of their relationship, ensuring that their marriage remains a nurturing and loving partnership.
